sometimes i feel like i'm drowning on still waters.
i don't know how to swim.
i have a headache and i hate exams. i don't want to study, and i'm not even sure if i need to for this one. who cares?? i hate writing blogs!!! nobody even reads this!! but its good to just get it all out and onto the screen, right? i dunno. maybe there's no point, considering i know my mum will just be buying me yet another journal for alban arthan.
ahhh who cares. maybe i don't need to write big long things every time. maybe it's okay to just... ramble on. maybe it's okay to go back and delete.
earlier today my favourite teacher showed me a picture of him when he was 24, like i am. it was the spitting image of me. the same plaid, the same glasses, the same hair, the same moustache. it's funny. i hope someday i'm as good of a writer as he is. i hope my students like me as much as we all like him.
i switch back and forth every week where i want to teach. i still think thailand is probably best for me, since it's supposedly the most queer friendly and weed's decriminalized there now. but i don't know. there's just something about northern vietnam that calls to me. i guess we'll see where the Gods take me, right? tieng viet is a little bit easier to read, too, with the latin-based orthography. either way, i'm terrible at tonal languages, but i'm gonna try my best. unsurprisingly, it's difficult to find irl tutors for either thai or vietnamese. khmer and lao would be out of the question.
i feel sick and i have a headache, but i still want a few more tokes and a drink before bed. one exam and a presentation tomorrow, and then another exam on friday. i can do this.
hey, this was surprisingly easier than i thought. i guess i just have to do this every couple of days, get everything down, all my thoughts. i wanna watch some more dramas. do i still have my viki subscription? i think they have some vietnamese BL on there.
okay, i should probably close my laptop. unless there's something else i have to say? no. not really. i think i just like the feeling of typing. makes me feel like an actual writer maybe. or i just like to think and write. i dunno. okay. goodnight.